ARE TOM AND GISELE HEADED FOR THE "END ZONE"?

There has been no shortage of celebrity divorces - Brad and Angelina, McKenzie Scott and Jeff Bezos, Kim and Kanye, Bill and Melinda Gates. Indeed, they seem to happen on a regular, if not, daily basis. But there is something different about the current rift between Tom Brady, the reputed greatest football player of all time and Gisele Bundchen the reputed greatest model of all time.

This story has garnered 24/7 media coverage since news of their separation first broke. It is at the top of every newscast, newspaper and magazine article, blog and internet feed. Every move and gesture they make - "she is not wearing a wedding ring"; "her face looks red and swollen"; "she missed his last football game"; he looks "sad, "distracted" and "not himself on the football field" - is examined, analyzed and commented upon.

What is at the core of this media frenzy? The short answer seems to be that up until now Tom and Giselle have led charmed lives. From the outside looking in, their lives have been "perfect", which is not only at the heart of those who love and envy them but also those who resent them for the same reason. It is like watching Barbie and Ken, Mattel's perfect doll couple, get a divorce. It just doesn't seem right. And it gives all of us reason to pause. If Tom and Gisele's "perfect" marriage can't last whose will?

Several years ago Rod Stewart sang about the fact that "Some Guys Have All The Luck." Indeed, Tom Brady could have been on the album cover. Blessed with incredible good looks, he came out of the University of Michigan and has gone on to greatness as a football player, winning seven Super Bowls, five times as the game's MVP. He even has a nickname - the GOAT - which stands for The Greatest Of All Time. Tom has overcome every obstacle and has come back from every failure or near failure.

For her part, Gisele is no less famous or wealthy. She has been one of the highest paid models since 2001, achieving Guinness Book of World Record fame and listed as one of the Most Powerful Woman by Forbes magazine. Gisele has appeared in more than 550 ad campaigns, 2,000 magazine covers and 3,500 newsprint editorials. She even has been crowned "the most beautiful woman in the world."

Following a whirlwind romance with Leonardo DiCaprio, Gisele dropped him and began dating Tom in 2006. They wed in 2009 and have two children, a son, Benjamin, age 12 and a daughter, Vivian, age 9. Tom also has a 15 year old son, Jack, born from a previous relationship with actress Bridget Moynahan.

It has been widely reported that the couple had an "epic fight"over Tom's recent decision to return to football after a two month retirement. However, as discussed in my five part series of articles written about the root causes of divorce, there are usually multiple reasons for a divorce along with a triggering event, such as an episode of domestic violence, infidelity or in this case a broken promise of retirement which finally causes the relationship to implode.

Assessing the seriousness of the breakup, multiple commentators have pointed to the fact that both Tom and Gisele have hired divorce attorneys. Indeed, this represents a serious step which often signals that the relationship cannot be saved. However, in my opinion there is something else which is even more telling.

During my career as a divorce attorney I have met with many potential clients who have told me that their spouse does not know that they are seeing me and they are not sure that they want a divorce. What they were really saying was that they were absolutely sure they wanted a divorce but first wanted to know how much it was going to cost and how to prepare for the inevitable divorce, financially and otherwise, before the official announcement is made.

Here, not only did Gisele consult with attorneys several weeks ago but there are reports that she also did so approximately seven years ago. Said differently, Gisele has visited the offices of a divorce attorney on multiple occasions. Reading the tea leaves, the prior visits were probably done without Tom's knowledge. For Gisele it represents confirmation that she has been thinking seriously about a divorce for a long time and for Tom her likely clandestine visits to a divorce attorney represents a secret or betrayal that can be devastating to a marriage.

Personally, I find myself in the camp of rooting for the survival of their marriage, if for no other reason then to save the children from the inevitable pain of their parents' break up. Additionally, they appear to be genuinely nice people. Besides, don't we all want to believe in the perfect fairy tale marriage?

During his professional career Tom has mounted many comebacks. One should never bet against him. However, my innate sense, after years of practicing in the field of divorce, is that their marriage will not survive. If a divorce does happen it is hoped that they do so quietly, without recrimination, rancor and in a way that inflicts the least damage upon their children.

"WEDDING BELL BLUES"

Some time ago the musical group The Fifth Dimension famously sang about the wedding bell blues. The group asked the musical question "am I ever gonna' see my wedding day" - more particularly the wedding I have been imagining and planning for quite some time. As we know things do not always go as expected and the wedding day is no exception.

Recently, I wrote about the subject of "ghosting" where an intimate partner or spouse disappears without a trace and without a word. As discussed in that article ghosting is a cruel and painful way of ending a relationship. Perhaps, the worst example of this phenomenon was the bride who was ghosted on her wedding day. After a four year engagement Kayley Stead was supposed to wed Kallum Norton at a beautiful hotel located in Wales. Hundreds of guests arrived for the ceremony, everyone except the groom. He did not even have the courage to tell Kayley himself but instead had his father call her with the news that Kallum was not coming to the wedding. No other explanation was offered as to why Kallum had literally left Kayley at the altar. He simply disappeared without any word, apology or acknowledgement of the enormous pain he had inflicted.

While such a blow would have crushed other brides Kayley decided to go forward with her friends and family in a giant celebration. Said Kayley "I didn't want to remember this day as complete sadness...there were so many special moments so there was still happiness in the day." Of course Kayley did take the opportunity to smash the groom figure from the wedding cake. Nevertheless, she drew kudos and praise from the myriad of people who commented upon her remarkable strength and fortitude in the face of heartbreak.

As noted above, wedding days are intended to be joyful not painful events. In China a couple were married and then attended their wedding reception with hundreds of family members and friends. However, the groom had a special surprise in store for his new bride. While the couple took center stage a large video screen was lowered. The wedding guests murmured in anticipation of the video to come.

As the bride stood there with her bouquet the immense screen lit up with a graphic video entitled "Cheating Bride" which showed her having sex with her pregnant sister's husband. The reception descended into turmoil and the unmasked bride then threw her bouquet at her husband. The video has also been posted on Tik Tok where it garnered millions of views. However, many people wondered why the groom actually went through with the wedding given the fact that he would now need a divorce and possibly a return of the wedding gifts.

Finally, many prospective brides have spent numerous hours micromanaging the details of their wedding. For example one Australian bride recently sent out a video with her "non-negotiable wedding rules" - a list which, according to the bride, "may piss a few people off", such as no children under the age of 16, no lengthy speeches and no dessert other than the wedding cake "given how expensive it was." Others have forbidden the taking of photographs and videos by anyone other than the bride's official hand selected photographer or videographer.

However, as the expression goes, "the devil is in the details." It is important to carefully read your wedding invitation before it goes out. One bride crafted her own invitation and sent it to the printer. Since she had not yet created her wedding site she put a fun website on the draft of the wedding invitation as a "placeholder." You see this coming don't you? When the invitations came back from the printer she mailed them out to all her guests and family. The invitation suggested that anyone who wanted further information about the wedding should visit the couples' website located at "www.Porn.Hub.com." Some guests spent hours searching the porn website trying to find the happy couple.

“Honey Trapping” - The Art Of Uncovering Infidelity

There is a widely held belief that when it comes to cheating "the wife is always the last to know". However, recent statistics bear out the fact that nearly 85% of women are correct when they think that their spouses or intimate partners are cheating on them. Indeed, in my divorce practice many clients tell me they are "certain" that their spouse or partner is having an adulterous affair, even though they do not have the actual proof to establish this fact.

It is this lack of this proof, or perhaps the hope that it is not true, which often convinces husbands and wives to try to find out the accuracy of their suspicions. As discussed by me in a prior post ("Every Move You Make, I'll Be Watching You"), spousal spying has become much more prevalent and sophisticated, especially when it comes to establishing infidelity. The days of the private detective lurking around the "love nest" have given way to more sophisticated and less costly methods of spying. The photographic lens has been replaced by voice activated tape-recorders, GPS devices, computer keystroke programs and apps which allow you to remotely access someone else's IPhone or Android device. The problem with many of these apps and devices is that their use is often illegal under federal and state law.

Are there any other ways to find out whether your spouse or partner is unfaithful? A woman in Britain found an ingenious way to test her husband's fidelity - "honey trapping." As explained by the honey trapping queen, a twenty-one year old British beauty by the name of Dani Bose, "honey trapping" is "a practice whereby she is paid by suspicious women to flirt with their boyfriends or husbands online to see if they will take the bait." In this case the suspicious wife contacted Bose and agreed to pay her to test her husband's fidelity.

So how did Ms. Bose go about trapping the unsuspecting husband? She direct messaged him on WhatsApp about the boat he was selling online. The conversation about the boat quickly turned flirty and the husband then told the beauty that he was 42 years of age and widowed - complete falsehoods. As they say in the world of fishing "the hook had been set".

Given his alleged marital status (widower) Bose then went in for the kill. "So there wouldn't be any problem with us meeting up and being intimate?" said the dark haired beauty. After he said "OK", gave her the thumbs up emoji and suggested that she book a hotel room, Bose ended the conversation and promised to be back to him with "where and when." Instead, she forwarded the incriminating messages to the wife who now knew for sure that her suspicions were accurate. For her part, Bose then posted the videos of her conversation with the husband on Tik Tok, where she garnered more than one million views.

Bose is not alone in her endeavors. Carolina Lekker, a 25 year old former Playboy model from Barcelona charges approximately $1,600 for her honey trapping services - with a money back guarantee if the spouse or partner passes the fidelity test. According to her, one of the most fertile "hunting grounds" is LinkedIn. The Barcelona beauty explained that women are less likely than men to use LinkedIn to troll for people willing to cheat.

Apparently, honey trapping is "a growth industry." Both Bose and Lekker's businesses are booming. These ingenious women seem to have followed the advice of the American writer and editor, Ruth Stafford Peale, who famously observed that success in life can be achieved "if you find a need and fill it." Both Bose and Lekker have found and filled their niches.

It should be noted that none of the spouses or partners who were honey trapped actually met or had any physical contact with the temptresses. In the eyes of the law, no criminal act had been committed. For example, under the law of 21 states in this country adultery is a crime. However, such criminal prosecutions would require proof of sexual intercourse before a person could be convicted. Mere flirtatious conversations would not qualify as a criminal act, no matter how graphic or direct.

Additionally, under the divorce laws of New York and many other jurisdictions, such behavior would not qualify as an act of adultery because of the absence of sexual intercourse. On top of this, New York has a legal defense to the adultery divorce ground if the other spouse encouraged the husband or wife to have the affair or to commit the adultery. Of course such legal niceties and defenses are lost upon the spouse who rightly suspects that their partner is one step away from an affair.

In keeping with the purpose of this website to inform, to counsel and to highlight interesting stories, this post may also be considered a public service announcement. If you want to keep your marriage intact, resist the calls of the honey trapping "sirens" (modern day temptresses akin to those of Greek mythology who lured unsuspecting sailors with their charms). If you fail to heed this warning, then, like the ancient sailors of Greece, you may find yourself and your marriage "on the rocks."