There is a widely held belief that when it comes to cheating "the wife is always the last to know". However, recent statistics bear out the fact that nearly 85% of women are correct when they think that their spouses or intimate partners are cheating on them. Indeed, in my divorce practice many clients tell me they are "certain" that their spouse or partner is having an adulterous affair, even though they do not have the actual proof to establish this fact.
It is this lack of this proof, or perhaps the hope that it is not true, which often convinces husbands and wives to try to find out the accuracy of their suspicions. As discussed by me in a prior post ("Every Move You Make, I'll Be Watching You"), spousal spying has become much more prevalent and sophisticated, especially when it comes to establishing infidelity. The days of the private detective lurking around the "love nest" have given way to more sophisticated and less costly methods of spying. The photographic lens has been replaced by voice activated tape-recorders, GPS devices, computer keystroke programs and apps which allow you to remotely access someone else's IPhone or Android device. The problem with many of these apps and devices is that their use is often illegal under federal and state law.
Are there any other ways to find out whether your spouse or partner is unfaithful? A woman in Britain found an ingenious way to test her husband's fidelity - "honey trapping." As explained by the honey trapping queen, a twenty-one year old British beauty by the name of Dani Bose, "honey trapping" is "a practice whereby she is paid by suspicious women to flirt with their boyfriends or husbands online to see if they will take the bait." In this case the suspicious wife contacted Bose and agreed to pay her to test her husband's fidelity.
So how did Ms. Bose go about trapping the unsuspecting husband? She direct messaged him on WhatsApp about the boat he was selling online. The conversation about the boat quickly turned flirty and the husband then told the beauty that he was 42 years of age and widowed - complete falsehoods. As they say in the world of fishing "the hook had been set".
Given his alleged marital status (widower) Bose then went in for the kill. "So there wouldn't be any problem with us meeting up and being intimate?" said the dark haired beauty. After he said "OK", gave her the thumbs up emoji and suggested that she book a hotel room, Bose ended the conversation and promised to be back to him with "where and when." Instead, she forwarded the incriminating messages to the wife who now knew for sure that her suspicions were accurate. For her part, Bose then posted the videos of her conversation with the husband on Tik Tok, where she garnered more than one million views.
Bose is not alone in her endeavors. Carolina Lekker, a 25 year old former Playboy model from Barcelona charges approximately $1,600 for her honey trapping services - with a money back guarantee if the spouse or partner passes the fidelity test. According to her, one of the most fertile "hunting grounds" is LinkedIn. The Barcelona beauty explained that women are less likely than men to use LinkedIn to troll for people willing to cheat.
Apparently, honey trapping is "a growth industry." Both Bose and Lekker's businesses are booming. These ingenious women seem to have followed the advice of the American writer and editor, Ruth Stafford Peale, who famously observed that success in life can be achieved "if you find a need and fill it." Both Bose and Lekker have found and filled their niches.
It should be noted that none of the spouses or partners who were honey trapped actually met or had any physical contact with the temptresses. In the eyes of the law, no criminal act had been committed. For example, under the law of 21 states in this country adultery is a crime. However, such criminal prosecutions would require proof of sexual intercourse before a person could be convicted. Mere flirtatious conversations would not qualify as a criminal act, no matter how graphic or direct.
Additionally, under the divorce laws of New York and many other jurisdictions, such behavior would not qualify as an act of adultery because of the absence of sexual intercourse. On top of this, New York has a legal defense to the adultery divorce ground if the other spouse encouraged the husband or wife to have the affair or to commit the adultery. Of course such legal niceties and defenses are lost upon the spouse who rightly suspects that their partner is one step away from an affair.
In keeping with the purpose of this website to inform, to counsel and to highlight interesting stories, this post may also be considered a public service announcement. If you want to keep your marriage intact, resist the calls of the honey trapping "sirens" (modern day temptresses akin to those of Greek mythology who lured unsuspecting sailors with their charms). If you fail to heed this warning, then, like the ancient sailors of Greece, you may find yourself and your marriage "on the rocks."