Exciting News - The Book You’ve Been Waiting For Is Here

Many of you know that I have written a book filled with invaluable advice and amazing, true stories about the world of separation and divorce. The book is entitled "An Elephant Doesn't Marry A Giraffe - Everything I Learned As A Divorce Attorney."

I am pleased and proud to tell you that the book has been accepted for publication and is now available for purchase. Three versions of the book, (Hardcopy, Paperback and Ebook), can be found in the Amazon Book Store. To view the books and select your favorite version from Amazon you can use this link. You can also find the Ebook and Paperback versions on the Barnes and Noble site, using this Barnes and Noble link as well as Apple Ebooks and Google Ebooks from this link.

A book is only a beginning for a writer. A reader completes it. So, why and who should read this book?

In the first instance, this book is for everyone who is, has or is about to go through a divorce. Or perhaps you have a client, friend or relative who is need of some direction. What is unique about this book on divorce is that its invaluable advice does not come from dry, solemn pronouncements or preachy sermons but rather from a multitude of true, compelling stories which dramatically illustrate, in practical terms, what divorcing spouses need to know and how to avoid the critical mistakes which undermine their divorce cases.

For those who have already ridden on the matrimonial merry-go-round, these true divorce stories also represent validation that the process of divorce can test everyone’s sanity.

Finally, many people will read the book for the sheer laugh-out-loud comedy and intrigue of people involved in epic divorce battles that make the movie "The War of the Roses" seem tame by comparison.

Once you have finished reading the book, in whatever version or on whichever site, please consider leaving your review of the book. Reviews are the life-blood of all published books. Books need customer reviews to survive in the same way that we humans need air. Even a few words are helpful. You can create a review by clicking on this Amazon link or input the URL into the browser of your computer, smart phone or PDA. For Barnes and Noble or the other sites follow the directions for publishing a review.

Finally, thank you all, for your support and encouragement in the completion of this endeavor. Please purchase the book today and feel free to give me your honest feedback after you have finished reading it. You can reach me through my website www.divorcedeverafter.com

or write to ron@divorcedeverafter.com

Ronald J. Bavero , Esq.

ARE TOM AND GISELE HEADED FOR THE "END ZONE"?

There has been no shortage of celebrity divorces - Brad and Angelina, McKenzie Scott and Jeff Bezos, Kim and Kanye, Bill and Melinda Gates. Indeed, they seem to happen on a regular, if not, daily basis. But there is something different about the current rift between Tom Brady, the reputed greatest football player of all time and Gisele Bundchen the reputed greatest model of all time.

This story has garnered 24/7 media coverage since news of their separation first broke. It is at the top of every newscast, newspaper and magazine article, blog and internet feed. Every move and gesture they make - "she is not wearing a wedding ring"; "her face looks red and swollen"; "she missed his last football game"; he looks "sad, "distracted" and "not himself on the football field" - is examined, analyzed and commented upon.

What is at the core of this media frenzy? The short answer seems to be that up until now Tom and Giselle have led charmed lives. From the outside looking in, their lives have been "perfect", which is not only at the heart of those who love and envy them but also those who resent them for the same reason. It is like watching Barbie and Ken, Mattel's perfect doll couple, get a divorce. It just doesn't seem right. And it gives all of us reason to pause. If Tom and Gisele's "perfect" marriage can't last whose will?

Several years ago Rod Stewart sang about the fact that "Some Guys Have All The Luck." Indeed, Tom Brady could have been on the album cover. Blessed with incredible good looks, he came out of the University of Michigan and has gone on to greatness as a football player, winning seven Super Bowls, five times as the game's MVP. He even has a nickname - the GOAT - which stands for The Greatest Of All Time. Tom has overcome every obstacle and has come back from every failure or near failure.

For her part, Gisele is no less famous or wealthy. She has been one of the highest paid models since 2001, achieving Guinness Book of World Record fame and listed as one of the Most Powerful Woman by Forbes magazine. Gisele has appeared in more than 550 ad campaigns, 2,000 magazine covers and 3,500 newsprint editorials. She even has been crowned "the most beautiful woman in the world."

Following a whirlwind romance with Leonardo DiCaprio, Gisele dropped him and began dating Tom in 2006. They wed in 2009 and have two children, a son, Benjamin, age 12 and a daughter, Vivian, age 9. Tom also has a 15 year old son, Jack, born from a previous relationship with actress Bridget Moynahan.

It has been widely reported that the couple had an "epic fight"over Tom's recent decision to return to football after a two month retirement. However, as discussed in my five part series of articles written about the root causes of divorce, there are usually multiple reasons for a divorce along with a triggering event, such as an episode of domestic violence, infidelity or in this case a broken promise of retirement which finally causes the relationship to implode.

Assessing the seriousness of the breakup, multiple commentators have pointed to the fact that both Tom and Gisele have hired divorce attorneys. Indeed, this represents a serious step which often signals that the relationship cannot be saved. However, in my opinion there is something else which is even more telling.

During my career as a divorce attorney I have met with many potential clients who have told me that their spouse does not know that they are seeing me and they are not sure that they want a divorce. What they were really saying was that they were absolutely sure they wanted a divorce but first wanted to know how much it was going to cost and how to prepare for the inevitable divorce, financially and otherwise, before the official announcement is made.

Here, not only did Gisele consult with attorneys several weeks ago but there are reports that she also did so approximately seven years ago. Said differently, Gisele has visited the offices of a divorce attorney on multiple occasions. Reading the tea leaves, the prior visits were probably done without Tom's knowledge. For Gisele it represents confirmation that she has been thinking seriously about a divorce for a long time and for Tom her likely clandestine visits to a divorce attorney represents a secret or betrayal that can be devastating to a marriage.

Personally, I find myself in the camp of rooting for the survival of their marriage, if for no other reason then to save the children from the inevitable pain of their parents' break up. Additionally, they appear to be genuinely nice people. Besides, don't we all want to believe in the perfect fairy tale marriage?

During his professional career Tom has mounted many comebacks. One should never bet against him. However, my innate sense, after years of practicing in the field of divorce, is that their marriage will not survive. If a divorce does happen it is hoped that they do so quietly, without recrimination, rancor and in a way that inflicts the least damage upon their children.

How Soon Can I Be Divorced?

I'm Never Getting Married Again - Maybe

Some people are so traumatized by the process of divorce that they vow never to get married again. For example Kelly Clarkson, the singer/entertainer, who has been involved in a contentious divorce from her husband, Brandon Blackstock, stated that when she is finally divorced from Blackstock she is going to be “single forever.” That observation is mild compared to the ex-husband who declared, in the aftermath of his brutal divorce case; “I’m never getting married again. I’m just going to find myself a woman I don’t like and give her a house.”

However, some people can’t wait to get back on the matrimonial merry-go-round. In my divorce practice, I have seen people jumping right back into a new relationship, even before the old one has been formally, finally and solemnly interred into the ground of dead marriages. This push to commit matrimony again leads to a number of interesting telephone calls between the divorce attorney and the client.

Let’s set the stage. As soon as the divorce case is settled, by virtue of a separation agreement, settlement stipulation or trial decision, one of the divorce attorneys is required to prepare and submit to the judge the proposed final divorce decree and related documents. When the attorney submits the papers, it is common for clients to ask; “So, when will I be divorced?” The answer given by most attorneys is, “as soon as the judge signs the papers.” Says the client, “Well when is that?” Good question.

The reality, ignored by the anxious client, is that the judge has a stack of divorce papers on his or her desk that look a compendium of telephone books piled one on top of the other. After all this client’s divorce papers is only one of several hundred sets of papers sitting on the judge’s desk. Typically, the attitude of the judge is “I will get to all of them as soon as I can. If they waited two years to settle their divorce case they can wait a few months more. What’s your hurry?” says the judge. Let’s now examine why the clients are feverishly calling their attorneys.

In some instances the reason is economic. Some people want to transfer or sell assets (like stocks, bonds or real estate) that they are entitled to under the settlement agreement. Or perhaps someone is waiting for the divorce decree to be finalized so that they can divide pension or retirement assets that cannot be moved without that final divorce order from the court.

Sometimes, the reason has to do with income taxes. If the divorce papers are signed before December 31, the law considers the spouses “single” for the entire year and they can now use that filing category on their tax return, along with the favorable tax treatment, instead of the worst filing category - “married filing separately.”

These are all sound albeit mundane reasons why clients call their attorneys every day to find out if the judge signed the papers. However, I have had a considerable number of cases where the reason is much more personal and urgent to the client. The wedding invitations are out and the date for the client’s remarriage to someone else is coming up soon.

“Well who told you that you could send out the wedding invitations,” I would say. This is where the client has “selective memory amnesia.”

“You told me the judge would sign the papers in a couple of weeks.”

“No”, I remind the client, I said “approximately four to six weeks and you never told me that wedding invitations were going out.”

Now I have to call the judge’s chambers and have that sweet, syrupy conversation with the judge’s secretary or law assistant to “pretty please” move my set of divorce papers to the top of the pile, while promising never to call again or to object to any of the judge’s rulings and whatever else I can think of to offer. Sometimes it actually came down to the week of the wedding. So much for I am never getting married again!!!